Although most of us have received years of training on how to read, write and speak, few of us have been taught how to actually listen. Listening can be divided into four categories:
- Social or casual , to fill our days;
- Attentive, when we are in a situation we regard as important/when receiving instructions;
- Empathetic, when we want to feel with the other person and understand/be sympathetic;
- Active listening, requiring a responsibility on the part of the listener to absorb the meanings of the words he/she hears and then assume an active role in the exchange. -The most crucial method of listening
Many are good at some of these categories, others are skilled at one, some are skilled in none.
As a society we tend to focus on what we are saying rather than how we listen and apply that knowledge and understanding.
Practicing and applying good listening skills can help create and sustain an environment of trust, respect and understanding. Hearing is a function that almost never requires effort or even response. Listening always does! Before we apply the physical effort to listening we must first make the mental effort to achieve the task. This is done through a number of areas:
Listen for emphasis-These are the emotional factors that make a person act or react. What is really important? What is the key to what the person is saying?
Ask Questions- The more information you collect, the better able you'll be to present your ideas in a manner that will be seen as a contribution to the other person.
Really Listen-If you do that, you'll get more information than the words alone convey. You'll become aware of the tone of voice, posture, gestures, facial expressions, etc. Every one of these sends a strong message if we pay attention. All of those factors contribute to presenting a complete message. Sometimes the focus of the conversation may not be what that person is trying to say. By analysing all of these components, this will give you a better understanding of the complete message.
Conclusion? When the other person is talking, be sure you are actively listening. Don't start thinking of what you'll say as soon as you have a chance to talk yourself. If you don't pay close attention, you'll likely miss important information. -If you demonstrate you are truly interested in the person as well as in the business, strong relationships can develop.
Now I will stop talking....